ABSURDITIES IN GENESIS & EXODUS

ABSURDITIES IN GENESIS

Just pointing out a few of the many perplexing and absurd things the bible has to say. If this doesn't interest you at least read the last one..Devine Mooning.

God creates light and separates light from darkness, and day from night, on the first day. Yet he didn't make the light producing objects (the sun and the stars) until the fourth day (1:14-19). 1:3-5

God makes the animals and parades them before Adam to see if any would strike his fancy. But none seem to have what it takes to please him. (Although he was tempted to go for the sheep.) After making the animals, God has Adam name them all. The naming of several million species must have kept Adam busy for a while. 2:18-20

Cain is worried after killing Abel and says, "Every one who finds me shall slay me." This is a strange concern since there were only two other humans alive at the time -- his parents! 4:14

"And Cain knew his wife." That's nice, but where the hell did she come from? 4:17

God created a man and a woman, and he "called their name Adam." So the woman's name was Adam, too! 5:2

Noah is called a "just man and perfect," but he didn't seem so perfect when he was drunk and naked in front of his sons (9:20-21). 6:9, 7:1

Noah is told to make an ark that is 450 feet long. 6:14-15 God tells Noah to make one small window (18 inches square) in the 450 foot ark for ventilation. 6:16

Noah sends a dove out to see if there was any dry land. But the dove returns without finding any. Then, just seven days later, the dove goes out again and returns with an olive leaf. But how could an olive tree survive the flood? And if any seeds happened to survive, they certainly wouldn't germinate and grow leaves within a seven day period. 8:8-11

Lot and his daughters camp out in a cave for a while. The daughters get their "just and righteous" father drunk, and have sexual intercourse with him, and each conceives and bears a son (wouldn't you know it!). Just another wholesome family values Bible story. 19:30-38

And he removed from thence unto a mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Hai on the east: 12:8 ....

Jacob names Bethel for the first time, before meeting Rachel. 28:19 Later in 35:15, just before Rachel dies, he names Bethel again. (And it was called Bethel long before it was named Bethel in 12:8 and 13:3.) ....

Jacob names Bethel again. The first time 28:19 the name didn't stick. 35:15

ABSURDITIES IN EXODUS

The Israelite population went from 70 (or 75) to several million in a few hundred years. 1:5,7, 12:37, 38:26

In complaining about his difficulty with public speaking, Moses says, "Behold I am of uncircumcised lips." 6:12, 6:30

God tells Moses and Aaron that when Pharaoh asks for a miracle just throw your rod down and it will become a serpent. So when the time comes, Moses throws down his rod and it becomes a serpent. But the Egyptian magicians duplicate this trick. Luckily, for Aaron, his snake swallows theirs. (Whew!) 7:9-13

If an ox gores someone, "then the ox shall surely be stoned." 21:28 If an ox gores someone due to the negligence of its owner, then "the ox shall be stoned, and his owner shall be put to death.". 21:29

The Divine Mooning
33:21 And the LORD said, Behold, there is a place by me, and thou shalt stand upon a rock: 33:22 And it shall come to pass, while my glory passeth by, that I will put thee in a clift of the rock, and will cover thee with my hand while I pass by: 33:23 And I will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts: but my face shall not be seen.

That's enough bizzare goings on for me. People really buy into this stuff. Hmm...